Woman insists Korean coworker use an 'English name' at work because their first name is 'offensive,' coworker refuses: 'She recently complained to our manager'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Jun 3, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

Names are incredibly important. It's how the world identifies us. It's how we move through society, and it's often one of the first things a stranger knows about us. We have to hear it all day every day, and we have to sign it on every document. But more than just a tool of social organization, names give us a connection to our family and our culture. Many names are passed down through families, giving a lineage of ancestors some common ground. They also might mean something in our language or in our culture's history. But even if they don't, they're at the very least given to us by someone we love for some reason. It's ours to keep, it's ours to change, and it's ours to insist that others learn. 

That's why it's so disrespectful when someone refuses to get your name right. Maybe it's 'difficult' for them to say, but anything is possible. 

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  • 01

    AITA for refusing to use an English name?

    Using an old throwaway for this cuz some of my coworkers know my main. I'm 20f and I'm ethnically Korean but grew up bouncing around different countries due to my parents job. My friend said that I'm "passively bilingual" in that I understand when my grandparents speak Korean to me, but I struggle to respond. Forget about reading or writing lol. My parents both grew up in the US and the grandparents I have left speak English so my bad Korean never caused any communication problems.
    via u/throwawayrella
  • 02
    2
    via lian xiao

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • The coworker in this story didn't think so, though, and insisted that her coworker change her name for her convenience. The way she saw it, she was being forced to say an offensive word in her native language every time she addressed her. But was that enough for her to ask her to change? Read on for the story and see what you think.

  • 03
    My parents gave me a "Korean name" and never gave me an "English name" (who knows why) even though a lot of ABCs usually go by an English name at school or work. This is fine by me, I like my name and yeah it sucked when some teachers got it wrong growing up, but that's life.
    via u/throwawayrella
  • 04
    Now here's the problem: I started a part time job and there's another girl working there, Emma (fake name, maybe 25ishf?), is uncomfortable because of my name. Thing is, Emma is Muslim and takes her religion really seriously (she wears the hijab, prays at work) and apparently my name means something bad in her religion? She doesn't call me by my name, it's always "hey you" or something like that.
    via u/throwawayrella
  • 05
    She recently complained to our manager, Jen (who really is just our equal with a nicer title) that my name is insulting to her religion. The two of them basically cornered me in the break room and asked if I can go by a nickname or an "English name." I said no obviously but Emma and Jen think I'm not respectful of Emma's religion and it's not a big deal to use an English name since so many Asians do, and it's not like I speak Korean or anything.
    via u/throwawayrella
  • 06
    I'm not sure if this is a hill worth d_ng on but I also feel like I shouldn't have to go by another name???? AITA?
    via u/throwawayrella
  • 07

    Commenters quickly came to her defense.

    30_rocks 19h ago NTA. Your name is your name... it's part of who you are, and you shouldn't be expected to change it just because someone else finds it uncomfortable. Suggesting you adopt an "English name" when you already have a name, and then using your ethnicity and language ability to justify it, crosses a line and comes off as xenophobic.
    via u/30_rocks
  • 08
    Also this part: it's not a big deal to use an English name since so many Asians do Saying "so many Asians do" doesn't make it okay to expect you to do it. That mindset reduces your identity to a stereotype and treats your name like an inconvenience instead of a basic part of who you are.
    via u/30_rocks
  • 09
    robopirateninjasaur 19h ago NTA. Suggest you'll go by Emma, but only if the other Emma goes by another name instead. When they say that's unreasonable, reply that yes, wanting someone to change their name is unreasonable.
    via u/robopirateninjasaur
  • 10
    Altruistic-Alps9827 · 18h ago That's really r cist on their part, beyond "microaggression" and into straight-up aggression. Write everything down. Who what where when why. If (when) they continue take it to HR.
    via u/Altruistic-Alps9827
  • 11
    latinisdead. 19h ago NTA. Your name is your name. Different languages exist and Emma isn't the center of the universe. Absolutely di on this hill, because it's so disrespectful and entitled for someone to expect you to change your name for them. She doesn't have to like it.
    via u/latinisdead
  • 12
    Cheezburger Image 10513107968
    via Misbahul Aulia

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 13
    • CupcakeMurder86 19h ago NTA. Fins here can correct but years ago I learned than in Finnish there's a boys name call "Vilo" spoken as Veelo. Well, where I come from that word means Would I ask a guy to change his name because it's the exact word for ? No! It's his name, I would get over it.
    via u/CupcakeMurder86
  • 14
    That being said, there's also many Richards that go exclusively as • They don't even turn around for Richard. So there's that. Your name is your name. If after so many years you didn't adopt an English name, then no one can force you. Do you happen to have HR in your company. I would reach out to them after that cornering of Emma and your manager. It wasn't right at all for them to do that.
    via u/CupcakeMurder86
  • 15
    OldSaggy Biscuits 19h ago • NTA, your name is your name. Emma sounds like she has issues with racism, and your manager is jumping in on it. What they're asking you to do is illegal in the United States, I'd go to HR immediately. You are not actively discriminating against her religion, but she is actively discriminating against your race.
    via u/OldSaggy***Biscuits
  • 16
    KatzAKat 19h ago • NTA. And it is a hill I'd fight on. It's your name, whether it's Korean or English or any other language/ culture. This needs to be escalated to HR as buying and harassment. You get to be protected, too.
    via u/KatzAKat
  • 17
    sur... • 19h ago • Edited 18h ago NTA Your co-workers do realise that it's racist to ask you to answer to another name because someone doesn't like your actual legal name's meaning in another language right? If not I'm pretty sure HR will educate them about this.
    via u/surprise_pudding
  • 18
    (I have a guess what your name is and why Emma has a problem with it but I won't post it because you haven't.)
    via u/surprise_pudding
  • 19
    Antique-Brief1260 18h ago . There are thousands of languages in the world and only a limited number of possible sounds the human mouth can make. Of course some completely unrelated words exist across multiple tongues, and of course sometimes a word that's innocuous in one language, may be offensive in another. That's part of living in our multicultural world.
    via u/Antique-Brief1260
  • 20
    Your colleague's religion is her religion - hers, not yours - and it's a matter for her private life. Your name is your name, and how you present to the world. She and your manager need to learn some respect. NTA.
    via u/Antique-Brief1260
  • 21
    alisonchains2023 18h ago Have her call you "Ms. (your last name)". She would be addressing you politely and I sincerely doubt your last name is also a problem in her religion. NTA.
    via u/alisonchains2023
  • 22
    GoldInTheSumme... 19h ago NTA, and you need to find company HR and report this. It is race-based discrimination, and that is super duper NOT OK.
    via u/GoldInTheSummertime
  • 23
    Your name is your name. At most, Emma could ask ONCE if you would go by a nickname (and I think that is really pushing it!), but once you said no, it should have been over. Jen has no business being a manager if this is her response.
    via u/GoldInTheSummertime
  • 24
    Top-Ring2299 · 19h ago NTA ... it's not Emma or Jen's place to tell you whether you choose to adopt an American name or not. It's not their place to tell you how Korean you are or are not. F that sh. So what if other Asians adopt American names, that doesn't mean that you have to.
    via u/Top-Ring2299
  • 25
    Is there someone in HR you can talk to about this? It feels like they are trying to whitewash your name to accommodate a co-worker. This does not seem reasonable.
    via u/Top-Ring2299
  • 26
    . gothica_obscura · 19h ago NTA, but Emma is. That's absolutely ridiculous to complain about someone's name in a society of mixed ethnicities. If she doesn't want to say your name, she doesn't have to. It's only going to make things difficult for her.
    via u/gothica_obscura
  • 27
    iknitsoslow • 19h ago ABSOLUTELY not. They should never have asked you to change your name. Even if it does mean something bad in Arabic (which does happen across languages, but I question whether that's even true).
    via u/iknitsoslow
  • 28
    I'd tell her if you have to change your name, so does. everyone else. If they aren't willing to change, why are they asking you?
    via u/iknitsoslow
  • 29
    M... • 19h ago Edited 1h ago • Of course NTA, but they sure are. Tell Emma and Jen that if they can't/won't address you by your first name, they call you "Ms. [last name]" or "Dr. [last name]". ETA: changed "Mr." To "Ms." Sorry for the misgendering.
    via u/Mundane-Scarcity-219
  • 30
    EnchantedArmadi... 19h ago • Don't use another name at work. I'd tell them both that you won't be going by a different name and that they should not bring it up again. Be polite but firm. Also, go see an attorney because you know they won't let up about this. Your coworker may double down and see it as an expression of her faith, be ready for it to get worse.
    via u/EnchantedArmadillo89

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terrible coworkers boss antiwork workplace-stories toxic-workplace job bosses work coworkers prejudice korean working reddit story toxic-boss workplace reddit thread bad bosses Reddit name toxic-work-environment
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